I hear you: repair communication breakdowns, negotiate successfully, and build consensus ... in three simple steps

Cover; Title Page; Copyright Page; Table of Contents; Acknowledgments; Note to Readers; Introduction: From Conflict to Consensus; Becoming your Own Coach; Chapter 1. Change Yourself: Going from Stuck to Unstuck; Defining Stuck Situations; Fixing it Begins with You; Why Being Different Makes All the Difference; What about Extreme People?; Change what you Say; Change how you Say It; Beyond the Conversation; Summary; Chapter 2. Shifting Perspective; Changing your Thinking; Different Perspectives can Coexist; Flexing your Mind; Now I See it Differently; What's the Magic Word?

Shifting Perspective and Writing your Own Magic WordsSummary; Chapter 3. Overcome your Own Defenses: Tearing Down the Walls; Perspective is Practically Invisible; Freeing Yourself from Perspective Ignorance; Active Resistance; Summary; Chapter 4. Their Story: Looking Through their Eyes; Difference of Opinion; The Role of Culture; Identifying Noncultural Differences; Different and Legitimate; Mind the Gap; Practice Telling their Story; Guide to the Perplexed: Finding their Story; Having the Conversation; Seeing isn't (Necessarily) Believing; Summary.

Chapter 5. Looking from the Outside In: Seeing is BelievingWhat do I Sound Like from the Outside?; Simple, but not Easy; Dealing with Denial; It's Not you, It's Me; Learning about Myself-Going Deep; Looking in the Mirror; Practicing how to Look from the Outside In; Having the Conversation; Walking Down the Road; Summary; Chapter 6. Don't Take it Personally: Understanding it's not about You; Systemic Conflict is Role-Based; Competing Incentives; The Benefits of Competing Incentives; Hierarchy; Working for a Superhero; Personalities Within the System; Who Cares?; Why it's Hard.

Identifying your Systemic ConflictHaving the Conversation; Summary; Chapter 7. Don't Lose Yourself: Maintaining Balance; The Problem; How can you Tell?; Advice; Having the Conversation; Summary; Chapter 8. Practice, Practice, Practice: Getting to Carnegie Hall; What is Role-Playing?; Role-Playing to Diagnose the Problem; Role-Playing to Look from the Outside In; Role-Playing to Tell Their Story; Role-Playing to Practice; Creating your Own Role Play; Step One: Find a Partner; Step Two: Set the Stage; Step Three: Have the Conversation; Step Four: Stop and Debrief; Step Five: Try Again; Summary.

Chapter 9. What Comes Next: Making Change Happen and Identifying Dead EndsPossibility 1: The Situation Gets Better and the Relationship Improves; Possibility 2: Making Peace with the Status Quo; Possibility 3: Walking Away; Have you Really Tried?; Time to Act; Managing Risk; A Question of Values; Keeping the Door Open; Summary; Conclusion; Notes; Index.